I had a hankering for Vietnamese iced coffee but not Vietnamese food so I went to a boba tea place that has Vietnamese iced coffee as one of it’s drinks. I am wearing jeans and the “why am i alive” t-shirt. There is a thick-bottomed Indian girl who is going into the store ahead of me and she holds the door open, and, without looking at me, says, “You can go first.”
I assume she is talking to me.
When I walk to the door, there are two people with drinks headed on their way out.
The thick-bottomed Indian girl glares at my awkwardness, then after the couple passes, nods to the door – I don’t even get the courtesy of a verbal acknowledgment.
Once inside, I walk up to the counter and ask for a Vietnamese iced coffee. I am dreading for what happens next. Invariably, the person asks you, “Do you want bubbles?” I have never said “No.” And before this point, it seemed weird to even have to ask the question – why go to a bubble tea place and NOT get bubbles? It would make more sense for a person to come here, and if they DIDN’T want bubbles to say, “I’d like a passion fruit mango tea without bubbles.” I am literally going into untested waters here.
“Do you want bubbles with that, bro?” the more-jacked-than-me Asian guy asks.
“Nah,” I say.
He gives me a look. This is my nightmare. “No bubbles???” Note the multiple question marks.
“Yeah no bubbles.”
He shrugs, tells me my total, and I find a place to sit to wait for my drink.
I find myself trying to not look awkward. I realize I’m staring at the menu. Is this normal? One of the best things about the advent of smart phones is that it allows people like me to look busy doing something instead of staring like a Gordon fuck at people or my surroundings. So I get on facebook and read twenty threads that I have already read in their entirety.
The guy has to call for me three times before I realize he is talking to me. I say “oh” and grab my drink and leave.
Now I am gonna go train, Mike gave me his voodoo floss bands so it will add another 5mins to my fucking pre-workout mob bullshit.