First thing’s first.
T-shirts are available. You can pick between Gildan or American Apparel, and there’s an option for a white t-shirt with a black design. I can also make a women’s tee if there is a demand for them (I don’t suspect that there is).
I would like to point out that the official MopeilityWOD “why am i alive” t-shirt color is egg plant, which is featured in the preview image. You can pick your own colors though.
Also, how do you guys feel about this design:
Post thoughts to comments.
* * *
Hey guys.
What does it mean if you feel like everyone’s staring at you when you walk into a crowded place? I realize this thought is completely irrational, but the feeling is still there. I’ve noticed this experience walking into the grocery store and the gym, since these are the only places I really go to anymore. But looking back on previous episodes – I’ve mentioned several times that I hate going to Vietnamese restaurants because it seems as though everyone stops what they’re doing to fix their gaze on you. Have I actually felt this at all restaurants? Am I developing legit symptoms of social anxiety disorder? Many of you may have noticed that I don’t know what to do with my hands, especially in a place where there are a lot of people. Is this real? Does this explain why I hate going to clubs and bars? Why I’ve never gone to a concert and have no interest in going? I’ve even developed an extreme unwillingness to go to meets. I legit didn’t want to go to Nationals this year.
I was driving with Chris to Authentic Strength and filled with dread at the thought of talking to Nate, the guy who owns the place. I was sure that he wouldn’t want me training there because of the personality I’ve cultivated from 70s big, and more recently, this blog.
At the gym, I left Chris’s side to go pee. On the way there, a guy was leaving the hallway leading to the restroom. About twenty paces away I began to frantically consider my options – do I step to the left to pass by him, or to the right? I hesitated at least five steps before deciding. We made eye contact for too long and I panicked – do I look away? Do I acknowledge our eye contact and say hello? I managed a meek nod and a “hi.” He looked at me weird – or did I only think he looked at me weird – and said hello back. When I was done in the restroom I came out and began to warm up. It felt like he was staring at me as I took my warm-ups in the snatch.
Nate stopped by to speak with me as we had finished the workout. Separated from Chris, I was helpless as I struggled my utmost to appear to be normal. What do I talk about? Lifing. Yeah. That’s a safe bet.
“So do you plan on doing a powerlifting meet again any time soon?”
“OH- well I uh – the-the-the-the THE American Open’s my – “
Boy I really fucked that one up.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with my hands? Does he notice my awkward stance right now? Fuck, how long have I been standing like this? I don’t know what my face looks like right now. Where are my eyes supposed to look, there’s no way I’m supposed to maintain eye contact this whole time.
help
* * *
M writes:
Thanks for the bbq tip and warning about the soup.
Don’t get me wrong. I fucking love some of the soups and stews. But I can see why someone not raised on the food would hate it. If you want some kind of meat-based stew, try sul-rung tang or gal-bi tang. Gom tang is also good but you are less likely to find a place that makes this. I am actually a big fan of daengjang jjiggae, which is a soybean-paste soup that is pretty good, except it probably has a total of 10g protein – from tofu. I also like yukkae jang which has probably 3-6oz of shredded beef depending on where you go and is pretty spicy. Taste also varies quite a bit, I like it with a lot of garlic and green onion.
Broseph writes:
Brihn’t,
On average, how many feels do you feel in a day?
Just one – I want to quit everything.
Oldman writes:
This post was no befitted for an officer. We expect more of you at this rank bront. Yeah that’s right I called you bront on purpose because guess what the ‘o’ is no where near the e on a keyboard so it’s obviously not a typo, bront. Whatcha gonna doaboutit bront? Huh?
I can only think of not letting you buy a t-shirt.
Mike? writes:
Thought about this today, wondered how pathetic this makes me.
Its one thing to be so beta you have no chance with any woman ever but in my case lifting seems to attract people talking to me, whether its guys asking what protein I take or girls teasing me with some bullshit or another. Anyway long story short, I’ve turned down sex because I have a squat session planned for the next day.
This isn’t me bragging that I get so much sex I can turn it down, this is me admitting I’m so turned off by social situations and human contact that I find solace in my desire to use my loins to squat rather than to have my way with some semi-attractive 20something.
Plz help
You don’t need help. Just keep squatting. Sounds like you’re doing fine. If MopeilityWOD had merit badges, you’d have earned the one that rewards actively avoiding human interaction.
I fucking hate people that are staring at me doing sets of shit weight that everyone can do. It is when you stack 2 or more plates on your bar you are immediately the center of attention. And I don’t want to be, I hate it because what I do isn’t remotely impressive. I remember there was an inquiry of the gym that had a bunch of questions about how good it was etc. but also one of the question were: “Rate from 1 to 5, I go to the gym because I like how people look at me”. Is this really a consideration of person to go work out? Get fucking attention? Yesterday a guy commented on the weight on the bar and that it was impressive, I probably came over as a douche saying that it wasn’t enough.
LOL the donkey shirts. Shouldn’t the jerk shirt say “jerkin buddies” though? it sounds more homosexual, which is more representative of this site.
i’m considering making the caption “gimme summa dat brotein batter”
i’ll buy 2, if you do that. srs.
Where can I get diagnosed?
Brent,
Your apartment complex looks really nice on google street view.
Yours truly,
FaggotMouth Reginald Williamson, III
stop
I would buy one of the “why am i alive” t-shirts, if there was no text, i.e. it was only eeyore and the raincloud. Just sayin’
I love the jerk buddies t-shirt. Make that shit. The donkey shirt is wayyy to #mopeydick though. I wouldn’t wear that in public. It was better when it said mopeility S&C.
If I could agree in such a way that didn’t pre-suppose some kind of human connection or shared experience, then I would agree.
I like Jerkin Buddies best. The donkey shirt might bring unwanted company. You know someone might read it as a call for help and come over and talk to you about it…then what. Or if your really lucky they will just lock you in the psych ward as a threat to yourself. At least then you’ll be the least awkward person in the building
i think everyone has missed the point of the donkey shirt.
imagine unracking the bar for your last set of squats, grinding through too-hard reps with too-light weight. you sink into the hole on the final rep, and bounce, but it’s too much, you push hard, struggling for a few seconds before dropping the bar on the pins. as you clamber out from under your failure, you catch a brief glimpse of yourself in the mirror (because real athletes train at globo gyms with mirrors in front of squat racks). you see the misery in your eyes first. this is always present. your flushed face, sweat-soaked hair. then you see the donkey, standing alone in the rain, the image on your chalk-smeared shirt, and you begin to understand. ‘why am i alive’.
So today a friend of mine (a girl, and an attractive one at that) facebook messaged me wanting to interview me for one of her classes. I said “of course” and told her when I was free. Then she responds with “alright i’ll get back to you soon and let you know
thanks so much! take care 
” I had no idea how to respond, it was three different statements in one. And now with facebook’s fucking message system where the other person knows when you saw their message I felt constrained by time. I had to hurry. I didn’t want to take half an hour to respond to a simple message. But which part of that message should I respond to first? Should I go in order of the statements? Should I just respond to one? Maybe just the last one? All of the responses I could think of given my general lack of social skills sounded awkward. I started panicking and after five minutes decided not to respond at all.
my default answer for everything is “sounds good” should have put that with a ton of emoticons.
“sounds gud baby. ay when u wan 2 get da pussy fukd babe” Is what you should have said. Not only is it alpha as fuck, but it will prevent the friend zone as well.
Nice neutral Grey for the color. Mix it up with some soft blacks and ash colours, no one will ever see you’re in the room that way with this urban camouflage of douchebag tshirt
So as cleavage season came to a close, so began a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.