Andrew writes:
Brent, real question. Do you ever get lab work done and hows your stack looking lately?
I ran a cbc last week because I either have a tapeworm or cancer. Sometimes you might show up as anemic. The blood work was normal.
I’m afraid of these things because my MO on most nights is to eat a bowl of ice cream, and I do things like eat two orders of fries, a total of 6 patties from In-N-Out, and dip the fries in a chocolate shake. Wake up the next day and I’ve lost weight. Got to be cancer. Next week in MopeilityWOD, Brynt quits chemo and succumbs to cancer. Sounds like a good blog. Cya.
I don’t currently have a stack. I just try to eat as much meat as I can. Actually I lied, I do eat these vitamin B gummies but only because they are gummies and taste like candy. I was eating vitamin D gummies but I ran out and haven’t gotten around to buying more.
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Today’s MopeWOD: Read this post history. Consider how this person might be in real life.
Superset with: hate your own least favorite person on the internet.
Burnout set finisher: hate someone in real life.
When it’s all over, ask yourself – are these people happier than you?
Welcome to MopeilityWOD.com.
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When I was in JROTC, I had an IQ that was significantly higher than the average of 76, so I was selected for various “leadership” type bullshit. Let me clarify that I’m not proud of this, and I wasn’t even proud of it at the time. It’s like being told to lead the white-belt taekwondo class in the calisthenics warm-ups while shouting the commands in Korean – when you’re not even fucking Korean. I’m real glad I got out of that chickenshit outfit.
In my third and final year of JROTC, there was this TREMENDOUS DICKHEAD named Ellison who, I can’t even begin to describe how much of an absolute piece of shit this guy was. At this point in high school, I was just trying to survive. By survive I mean I was trying to make it to the next day without hanging myself in my fucking closet. I just wanted to move out, away from my parents, and play Starcraft. Despite how much I hated myself and my life, I didn’t believe in making other people feel like I did as a way to vent, so I stayed mousey and didn’t kiss a girl until I was 17 (she wasn’t that pretty).
The first day I meet Ellison, someone in JROTC fucking introduces me as, “This is Brant, he’s drill team commander.” I fucking HATED that people pointed out that I was the drill team commander. I hated that I was ON THE DRILL TEAM.
The expression on Ellison’s face changes abruptly. He loses the smug grin and tries to give me what he probably thinks is an icy gaze.
I will never know why Ellison immediately hated me. To be completely honest with you the guy probably has schizophrenia and hopefully is well-medicated by now. But he took JROTC SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY and I can only assume that he was pissed that someone like me could obtain a “leadership” role IN WHAT WAS ESSENTIALLY THE EQUIVALENT OF BEING IN BAND IN HIGH SCHOOL????? Dude, I didn’t even care, I just wanted out.
He would go on to create a fake fued between us. Despite him being an awkward loser dickhead, I actually didn’t have a problem with him, because everyone was an awkward loser dickhead. But the guy creates a fake fued, fabricates this entire rivalry THAT DIDN’T EVEN EXIST. I wasn’t sure if Ellison was a real person, or possibly a paranoid delusion that I was having, because I couldn’t believe that someone would lie about AIM conversations that never happened IN AN EFFORT TO CREATE THE BACKSTORY OF A RIVALRY THAT DIDN’T EXIST???????
When we failed at the JROTC convention or whatever the fuck it is when all the schools get together and compete, Ellison’s idea of criticizing me – first of all, which was completely warranted, I understand – but his idea of criticizing me was, “You think that display was worthy of an officer?” AS AN OFFICER. IT’S FUCKING BAND COLOR GUARD WITH RIFLES YOU STUPID FUCK. He could have called me a shithead, a poor leader, a fucking baby-dicked loser, AND ALL OF THEM WOULD HAVE BEEN TRUE, but his idea of an insult is to CRITICIZE MY FICTITIOUS RANK OAPIHFEOAWPEHFOAPIHWPOHG
I fucking hated the guy so much. Ellison is the kind of slime ball who says he benches 315lbs because he can do 20 reps at 135lbs and posts all of his workouts on facebook and periodic pictures of him flexing in the mirror with a cellphone in his gloved hands. He’s the kind of guy who lies about the action he gets from a girl, literally, I’m pretty sure he actually did this.
I quit JROTC for my senior year and he called me a quitter and was made drill team commander. Believe it or not I didn’t give a fucking shit. I’m sure he had the time of his life spinning broken rifles.
I just want to point out that when I stumbled on his facebook a few years ago, it was a black-and-white picture of him shirtless wearing sunglasses and a cap while he posed like a model.
To answer the question – YES he’s probably happier than me because he doesn’t know how big of a piece of fucking shit he is.
JUST FOUND HIM ON FACEBOOK AGAIN AND WE HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY?!?!?!??!?!?!? CAN’T DO IT
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Old man writes:
I’m glad this blog isn’t filed under training logs anymore.
That’s because I don’t fucking train anymore.
Fagmouth writes:
But seriously we should be together.
You’re the kind of person who I hope buys my erotica and sends me creepy emails about how much you love my work.
karibot writes:
UPDATE: Lifetime PRs on all my lifts today. Moping really works!
You heard it here, folks.
Mark writes:
I feel like you have a sense of envy to the French character, you want to be him, you don’t want your life to be perfect, or even great, but you want something. He has something but his problems outweigh the good in his life. I think that you don’t want to be completely happy, but you just want something positive to hold on to.
You want me to kiss you now or what?
M writes:
Brent, off-topic but I saw in another post that you thought Korean food was ok. I’ve never tried Korean food and there are a bunch of supposedly authentic Korean restaurants nearby because the town nearby apparently has a big Korean population. What should I get?
Gal-bi, or the barbecue short ribs, are a big favorite. Get yaengnyam gal-bi if you go to a barbecue place, those are marinated short ribs and a big favorite with most people.
The soups are little harder to get into, you have to develop a taste for soybean paste and red pepper paste/gochujjang first.
I also like bibimbap, that’s a rice dish served with vegetables and some bulgogi – marinated beef – in a hot stone bowl. I don’t know the significance of the stone bowl, go fuck yourself.
Bulgogi is also OK and cheaper than the short ribs but if you’re into meat, you really should try the gal-bi.
Ah highschool… I hardly miss thee.
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24632743.jpg
brent brent brent
The implication of “stumbled on” is that you did not spend time offline thinking about him then go search for him online only to find that there are a lot of Ellisons or he is unsearchable so you had to think of common friends and search their profiles to accidentally end up on his page, twice. I applaud your leadership decision to be mopeilitywod to the hilt.
I was in JROTC for a semester. It was gay as fuck. Pretty much everyone had the terrible combination of both being stupid as fuck and weird as fuck. Fuck. Just awful. The worst part was wearing the uniform and having to walk around school all day. WE HAD TO GIVE EACH INDIVIDUAL TEACHER A CHECK LIST SAYING THAT YES, THEY DID SEE US WEARING OUR UNIFORM TO CLASS THAT DAY. We were also supposed to salute our “superiors” if we passed them in the hall or some shit? And then we had that terrible hat we had to wear outside that looked like a boat. Might as well have walked around with a shirt that said “I am a huge faggot please rape my face”.
This post was 10/10 before I even got to today’s mopewod, Fries dipped in chocolate shake is fucking delish, though.
This post was no befitted for an officer. We expect more of you at this rank bront. Yeah that’s right I called you bront on purpose because guess what the ‘o’ is no where near the e on a keyboard so it’s obviously not a typo, bront. Whatcha gonna doaboutit bront? Huh?
My wife made fun of me cuz I told her how much I could PROBABLY bench based on what I got for a 3RM. So yeah, I’m a fucking douche bag and she knows it. Now I feel like a tool every time I want to tell her about training progress. Guess I’ll just tell the internet every Friday.
3rm is a little more legit and unless you’re an absolute dickhead you should be able to estimate your best single to within 5-10lbs
Thanks for the bbq tip and warning about the soup.
That whole program sounds pretty ridiculous. We didn’t have JROTC at my high school. I didn’t realize they walked around with broken rifles but I guess that makes sense. Everyone had to take a sport or a 6th course at my high school so I took riflery. We’d get to go to a shooting room at the basement of the school gym and shoot a bunch of bullseye targets. Sometimes, the teacher would put up empty soda cans and we’d get to shoot at that. Then, a bunch of school shootings in other states made national news and, when the riflery teacher retired, the school probably figured that if some jerk ever went nuts and started shooting people at our school, then the riflery class would be a p.r. nightmare. It was removed after that fall.
Brihn’t,
On average, how many feels do you feel in a day?