When I was 20 or 21, I had imbibed alcohol like, once, maybe not even that, I can’t remember the actual order of the episodes of drinking in my life, which I can literally count on two hands. I was happy playing StarCraft and pretending to do the Bulgarian Method for weightlifting. I may not have even been “doing” oly lifting yet, it’s possible that this particular incident happened when I was 19, while I was still too busy doing what I thought was Westside Barbell and doing dynamic effort benching at 135lbs.
I had my own apartment somehow, and some friends a grade below me (seniors in high school) for some reason wanted to hang out with me. One of these guys is now a legit tattoo artist and definitely too cool for me, we don’t talk anymore and he probably thinks I am a huge piece of shit (because I am). But back then he thought I was OK and he said, “We’ll come over sometime with some alcohol. We’ll show you how to party like you’re in college PSHSHSHSHSH.” The irony being that he was a high school senior who laid pipe into college freshman and I was still essentially a virgin (to be fair I had banged a fat chick when I was 17).
Are these stories actually believable? When I go back and read these I always wonder, “The sad part is that these are 100% legit stories, but reading them they just sound too depressing and too sad to be true, I wonder if anyone thinks I am embellishing for the sake of having a depressing story to tell.”
Look guys, I don’t know what you want me to do, I’m just telling you what’s happened to me.
Anyways I’ve always hated drinking. “College party” in this case apparently meant Keystone Light and me passing out before completing my second beer and getting dry humped by two dudes in my apartment while their girlfriends thought it was hysterical. I would wake up at 3 or 4am after everyone left feeling incredibly nauseated (FROM LESS THAN TWO BEERS) and go to the toilet to prepare to vomit. It never happened and I just went back to bed wishing my headache would go away.
I woke up the next morning and decided that drinking wasn’t really worth it ever.
* * *
When I worked at a Chinese restaurant
Oh yeah that’s real fucking funny isn’t it guys haha because I’m Asian and I worked at a
When I worked at a Chinese restaurant I thought I liked this Taiwanese girl who was 28 at the time (I was 20). I spent some time hanging out with her, her roommate, and this other dude from the restaurant. They liked to drink, I didn’t, but they kept pressuring me to do it and would pour champagne or wine or whatever the fuck they were drinking that night and I was eating their cooking and they made me feel like I was being rude by not drinking so I caved.
Long story short, this was during the time of MySpace and if you were a friend of mine at the time you would have found a picture of me wearing a floral print bikini top with the bottoms over my shorts. Was a pretty popular picture among my friends. If you could look past how much of a tool I looked like you would also be able to observe the Asian flush syndrome pretty prominently in my face.
Epilogue to that night, I would take a nap for 2 hours (less than 2 glasses of champagne), wake up wanting to puke, and ask them why the FUCK they made me drink anything.
* * *
last weekend at meet I got out deadlifted by multiple (lighter) women.
became determined to eat moar.
loljks got effectively diagnosed with IBS today. trouble eating more than a sparrow isn’t going to go away.
last night cute girl from uni I’ve been talking to on FB for weeks, been planning on asking her out… starting asking me for advice on the guy she has a crush on (not me) (has a “beautiful beard”).
read all of shrugthug
fuck, made me feel even worse
should i kill myself
It gets better. You get stronger. And lonelier. But you are a stronger so it doesn’t make you as sad. Does she write terrible poetry? It may help you to get over her if she does.
brent are you gay?
Do you want me to be, Andy?
Somehow I knew this morning when I got up I’d be involved in strength training erotica.
Market St. actually has some really top notch sales on meat – just bought 6 lbs. rump roast for 2.67/lb, thick/solid/tight pork chops for 1.97/lb, big packs of sirloin steaks for 2.97/lb…and the list goes on!
Haven’t been to Trader Joe’s yet, it just opened like a week ago? I’d be open to a Mopeility S&C session, especially if you want some tips on how to not be able to bench 225×5.
Hey man I’m actually all done with meeting strangers in private residences, do you want to have lunch or not? Or I can go to Gold’s Gym. You can cum over after I’m sure you’re not going to stick your throbbing dick into my tight Asian rectum.
Whenever I go to McDonalds to order 3 Big Macs, I usually hold my phone up to my ear and loudly say, “OK, SO WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT…,” accompanied by long pauses, just so the person at the McD drive-thru doesn’t think all three sandwiches are for me.
If I go to Taco Bell I will generally order a combo plus a couple additional items. I always ask them to put the additional items in a separate bag “if it’s not too much trouble” so it looks like they’re being ordered for someone else. embarrassedbywhatstrangersmightthink.mpeg
I loled so hard that more than one person did this.
Whenever I become fixated on a certain kind of food (or drink) I will be too anxious to go to the same locations too often so I will make it a point to drive another 10-20mins to a different location offering the same kind of food in an effort to seem less pathetic. This process actually makes me even more pathetic, for those of you who don’t connect the dots. I’m talking about Pho Que Huong and Starbucks, but I’ve done it for other things before, too.
daddy fatdick writes:
I have a hard time beleiving you are actually depressed
Want to hang out, go hitch hiking, bang broads and high five?
I gave it a shot at raw nationals but you seemed wrapped up in your 70sbig clique and I was pressed for time
I can do two of those things.
Sorry I have codependent friends. Going to any other meets? The Arnold next year? If I don’t qualify at the AO I’m probably not gonna go.